Recently, I was released from the hospital after undergoing my fourth surgery to not only improve my health condition, but to hopefully restore fertility. It proved unsuccessful and my husband and I were truly devastated. Although this time my husband seemed more affected than me. He seemed so defeated and so did my long time surgeon. When my surgeon walked out of the operating room with a look of pure disappointment my husband panicked and wanted to make sure I was okay. The doctor confirmed that I was in fact okay, but his diagnosis was incorrect, and so the surgery could have possibly been postponed. This still meant no baby at this time for us. We were crushed.
The next day I was infused with pain medicine and more concern for my husband than myself. Strangely, I still felt faith and something forging me to move ahead with my next steps. As if I had madly conceived a better contingency plan just in case the surgery and procedure was inaccurate and produced no results. I was disappointed but something inside of me was unreal... I still believed in my heart that this was not the end! I would still conceive and carry my baby to full term. I cannot speak of what came over me or why I felt this way. It was a strange intuitive knowing that has yet to prove true, but even now as I write, I know it to be true, otherwise I would not be writing these very words. My husband on the other hand was worn out with all of the fertility procedures and surgeries. Every time I went under the knife he feared for my safety and hoped at the same time it would make a difference in us conceiving all in the same breath. How could I console him when I did feel disappointment, but I was not the least discouraged. Was this a form of "denial?"
One day I was home and trying to recover from my surgery when there was a 20/20 Special on television called "Extreme Parents." It was reported that a 60 year-old woman had given birth to twin boys through in-vitro fertilization, and she had another child prior to this through the same process at 53. Well-past the child-bearing years she was appearing on national TV telling the world her story. Amazing I thought! I was not in denial.
This seemed an obvious sign to me. While I was feeling somewhat down that day this brave woman appeared as a message for myself and countless of other women to remain faithful to the course. Science does not dictate what faith knows. In other words no matter what our condition may be, no matter the odds, or difficulty, if it is "Divine Will" for us to bring a child into this world with our own body then so shall it be, and by any means it may happen. This child will come with either assisted methods, natural, or a combination of both. There is no stronger faith than a mother who wants to conceive and birth a child. The key is to surround yourself with a fertility plan that includes spirituality. This is the missing link I think for many women who face fertility challenges.
As for me, I have chosen both natural and holistic methods, and I continue to work alongside my fertility specialist/gynecologist and a holistic doctor who specializes in acupuncture. I also do deep spiritual meditations, listen to a womb journey meditation I created for myself to visualize my healing and conception, I chant to call to the soul of my child -to be, and as always my husband and I pray. Keeping the faith during fertility challenges, I feel can only be consistent when a holistic plan is in place which encompasses our minds, bodies, emotions, and spirits. Unfortunately, most of the western world focuses only on the mental and physical aspects of fertility but does very little if nothing at all to address the spiritual and emotional aspects of women and men facing fertility issues.
I now understand clearly that if I had not been going to my acupuncture sessions, doing my mind-body-spirit meditations, relaxing, praying, and enjoying my husband's love and company... in no way would I have been in the spirits and the emotional condition I was after my surgery. By keeping my practices I had insured my own sanity and emotional well-being, and this is a must if one is to continue the journey of fertility challenges.
Before hand, I had already decided to take matters of my health and fertility into my own hands. This is my body, and my spirit and I could not just fork over all of me, and my resolve to my doctor's care. Taking responsibility for our health and understanding we are more than just a physical body is the first step to staying faithful during fertility challenges. We have other parts that may be starving and we are not nurturing those essential parts.
I believe many women face fertility challenges because there is often a spiritual lesson or message behind it which then eventually blocks the actual physical conception until we pay attention. It is spiritual law that states that what affects the spiritual equally affects the physical. Therefore, if there are issues of a spiritual or emotional nature which we remain unaware of it may greatly impact our fertility. For example, say a woman was a victim of any kind of sexual or emotional abuse, this woman may be hurt on a deep soul level. This may surely affect her fertility as the woman's soul is asking her to pay attention and heal herself first so that she can be the best mother possible for the child. Like it or not, aware of this or not our souls are a major part of our design as a human being. All aspects of the body are connected, our mind, body, emotion, and soul, and what affects one affects the other. So if our soul is hurt and our emotions in chaos it will often be very difficult to conceive and carry a baby term. All of our parts must work together in order for the miracle and mystery of conception to take place. If we only focus on the body we are missing three other very important aspects that can help or hinder fertility if they are not addressed. Without a holistic approach we may lose sight of our own needs and neglect aspects of ourselves that need healing before we can bring a child into the world.
Fertility in itself is a mystical experience... we create a human body, but the spirit animates this body and the child becomes a "human being" key word on being. Where do these spirits which inhabit our babies come from? The same sphere or place as our faith, which calls our babies and safely brings them to existence in the first place. The reason a mother desires her baby so much in the first place is the divine connection she shares with the spirit of the child. A connection between mother and child begins well before actual conception! From the moment your child becomes a thought in your mind a special bond, and a connection is formed. This is all the faith we need. This becomes our mantra and our drive to keep on keeping on. I want to encourage women to become aware of their emotional and spiritual needs during fertility challenges. We owe it to ourselves to explore and heal all of our parts so we can be the best mothers possible to our future children.
Blessings & Miracles,
Tanya
0 comments:
Post a Comment